Sunday 18 May 2014

Kebab-wich and Communication




Listening:  Vance Joy (ukuleles really get to me).

Eating:  This sandwich.  Dark dark coffee.

Looking:  At thunder clouds.  Dishes.




Today, is a holiday.  One of the best types of days, everyone that you bump into is just so thrilled that tomorrow is a Monday.  Poor Monday, it never stood a chance of being the favourite.  I took the time today to make some granola bars, a big ol' meaty breakfast, some potato bread, and a sandwich…duh.

I also watched a couple of episodes of Seinfeld.  I have a box set that a past beau of mine never got back.  I like to joke that all I got out of the relationship was my ability to shake a tin of tobacco by snapping, an intense dislike of (most) Radiohead and a copy of one of the best television shows ever made; poor Radiohead, they can hang with Monday.  I kid of course... I also got some really great teeshirts and poems.

As I was sitting and watching the kidnapped Seinfeld I once again was reminded of my love of all things Elaine.  The original funny woman, curly haired beauty, and ridiculously good dancer always reminds me that it is okay to not be a dainty lady all the time.  That cynicism and not knowing how to curl your hair with straightener are okay.  

The episode I chose was The English Patient.  Now, I have read and watched The English Patient and there are a couple of things to mention.  First of all, Michael Ondaatje is a (Canadian) genius, the images that he presents to you through his writing are amazing, he almost makes the war look good.  However, this did not fully translate to screen, and the movie became long, and my mind kept wandering to LOST because the guy who plays Sayhid is in it, and then polar bears, and then The Others, and where is Hurley now even?

Anyways, in the episode Elaine seems to be the only person on the planet who doesn't like the film.  Her friends stop talking to her, she gets fired from her job, and she doesn't get the piece of pie she orders. The scene that caught me is the one below:



WAITRESS: Really? I thought it was pretty good.

ELAINE: Oh, come on. Good? What was good about it? (scoffs) Those sex scenes!
I mean, please! Gimme something I can use!

WAITRESS: (sour) Well, I liked it.

The waitress takes the coffee pot and walks away into the back.

ELAINE: (calling after) Hey. You forgot about my piece of pie. Hello?
(irritated) You know, sex in a tub. That doesn't work!

*If you're going to have sex in a tub, use a silicon based lubricant so everyone is nice and  comfortable.*


I absolutely love it.  She's being honest, she isn't disillusioned, and she doesn't need a fucking movie to tell her what love or sex should be like.  Basically, we all know after this that Elaine is probably amazing in the boudoir.  She's a lady who knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to say it.

I think this is a problem for a lot of women out there: communication.  And unfortunately, communication is key to good sex, good relationships, and frankly everything.  We don't want to come across as crazy, or too eager, or, we have self image issues that prevent us from fully connecting during intimate moments.  It's corny as all hell, but the best thing to do for communication, is to be yourself and say what you want.  I know, it's hard to remember because TLC isn't together anymore reminding us through song and verse, meanwhile, we've got musicians dressing up as cats singing about Birthdays *cough cough there's already a song about them.*

I DIGRESS...

I am finding it a bit difficult during writing how not to come across as preachy when it comes to topics like communication, so maybe I'll just draw some comics and be done with it.  But in the meantime, I think the four key points are:

1.  Be happy with yourself.  If you're not, work for life balance and find what makes you happy.  Make moves to improve your mental and physical well being.

2.  Be honest with yourself and others.  I mean, don't be rude to people, (unless they insult your partner and their entire family or something, then you can call them a c*nt and move on,) but just know that you don't have to surround yourself with anyone or anything that doesn't make you happy.

3.  Do things with strangers!  Seriously, this helps with communication so much.  Join an Urban Recreation league, or take a Burlesque class.  Join a knitting circle, or volunteer at the cancer clinic.  Meeting and socializing with new people keeps those communication skills in check.  

4.  This one is especially for the laddiiieeeees:  Say what you mean in plain English.  When someone asks you what's wrong, don't say "nothing," and expect people to know you have a problem.  Say what your problem is, and then find a solution.  Simple.  Easy.  Clean.  Don't keep those emotions pent up, they'll give you wrinkles.

OK, SANDWICH TIME!


Preaching complete.  Now on to the sandwich.  This one is a play on Australian burgers; Australians love beets.  And good for them, beets need loving too.  Super simple roasted vegetables and hot Calabrese salami, covered with mozzarella, dijon, and mayo, nestled between a warm potato roll.  Very tasty, but I think I am going to try roasting the veggies a little bit more next time, if we're being honest.

I am going to go have a glass of wine now, I will close with my attempt at a written version of the Seinfeld closing bass:  

Ba da dum da dum ba dum….badadadum!


xx 

-B






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