(The turkey, brie, cranberry, and gravy sandwich I made for my #wcw)
Listening: New Ellie Goulding and Calvin Harris! I went for a run this morning and oh boy, nothing like an up and coming top forty hit to get you moving, but also allow for you to question your life choices.
Eating: Coffee and a breakfast panini. I left my panini press in an exes storage locker, so I am using a waffle iron at the moment. Ayo!
Looking: Oh, there is a storm brewing, leaves are blowing everywhere, cyclists are looking a little frazzled.
Welcome back to Wednesday! The favourite day of the week for some, for many others, not at all. I would say most are probably indifferent. I am very excited this week because last week, I was able to put in to place a photo vision that I have had for quite some time: A beautiful woman taking a bath in a tub full of cereal. The stuff Seinfeld dreams about it.
Lucky enough for me, I have just the friend willing to work with my hair brained ideas on very short notice. She can only be described as intoxicating, and when we go out together, there's trouble. Not real trouble, but we both have the mindsets of men when it gets down to it. We get what we want, and have no apologies.
It is a problem still these days, women are still given a structure by society, an expectation to act a certain way. To be coy, but not too coy. Flirty, but not too flirty. Bashful, but not too bashful. Basically, we are expected to be all the Seven Dwarves all wrapped into one.
The game of dog chasing cat still exists. Cat chasing dog is deemed as inappropriate, desperate, and needy. Well I am here to say with all capitals: FUCK THAT.
Most of you reading this are probably somewhere in your mid twenties to thirties, you're in your golden years. These are the days where your responsibilities are what your choose them to be. If you want to change where you live or run a marathon, you can, your knees are still good enough for that.
If you want to join a circus, or catch a flight to Hong Kong at a moments notice, you go Glen Coco, I'll watch your cat. Why be tied down to the constraints that other people place upon us? We are a completely different generation than previous eras, why conform to the ideals of the past?
On that note, I watched Gone Girl last night and I am never getting married.
Also, come on Ben Affleck, we didn't see that coming? Come on man, think with your brain.
So let's get into it, woman crush Wednesday! No Ben Affleck, not you.
S A R A H
I met Sarah more than a few years back at the point in my life where I had just gone through my first breakup. I was an adult, I was single, and I was ready to dance. We immediately hit it off with our love of white wine and all things beautiful. She reminded me that being a strong and independent woman was actually the most attractive quality in a woman, as opposed to being able to pull off bangs, being able to ride a bicycle that didn't have brakes, or differentiating between coffee roasts.
She has one of the most wonderful Scottish accents out there, which is able to become Irish at the drop of a hat, and is actually able to strike up a conversation with anyone. Besides that, she is an architect who is updating this East German looking community into something to be proud of, one building at a time. No offence to East Germany, you're lovely in the right lighting.
Recently, and ironically enough, she has been by my side through my second major break up. We have very similar stories right now when it comes to our non-traditional sense of what a relationship with someone else looks like. We've grown to appreciate red wine, but our young white wine loving selves are still always down for a new adventure. We are unforgiving when we go out, men do not control us, nor do we control them, but having wicked dance moves and a menacing glare doesn't hurt.
She has such a zest for life, would do anything for you, and more than anything has taught me there are no such things as regrets, because quite frankly, there isn't enough time in this life to have them.
(Disclaimer: this interview, as you may have already guessed, happens over a couple of bottles of wine.)
(If you haven't tried this wine, please do. It's fantastic).
(Disclaimer #2: We opened with a rousing sing song of the Scottish National Anthem)
(Disclaimer #3: Our conversation occurred for hours, a lot of it can not be typed out here. If you want to hear the real story, come buy us a glass of wine at Docs on Thursday, and maybe, MAYBE, we'll fill you in).
Okay! Ready? Why did you decide to become an Architect?
Is this real? Shouldn't we be talking about sex? Or sandwiches? For Fuck sakes!
I am opening! We're getting to know you a little bit about you!
Okay, well I didn't plan on going into it actually. I wanted to be in Fashion design. But later on in life, when you get older, which is more likely that you are going to get a job in? I tried to be sensible. I also love the design aspect of it.
According to some firemen, you're the best dressed in Kelowna?
Yes. According to some. Mostly those that I take swimming in waterfalls after a night out.
Swimming in waterfalls?!
Well, fountains. You can always tell a lot about a man if he is willing to go swimming in a fountain with you.
How would you describe your sexuality?
I am straight. I am not saying I haven't kissed a female before, but yeah, straight.
More wine?
Yes.
How would you describe your relationship status?
Oh, single. Definitely single. Sarah is happy being single, let's put it that way. Too much fun in life. You get the pick of a bundle. You don't even need to have sex with them, it's just nice to have companionship sometimes you know? Being doted on doesn't hurt either. And men are easy to have conversations with. Wham bam thank you ma'am!
I love it. I love how you're the one doing the picking up.
Oh yes, men picking you up at the bar is too easy, and can come off as creepy quite quickly. I mean if it's done right it can be quite flattering, but most men haven't figured it out.
What's your favourite movie?
American Gangster sticks out in my head. Denzel Washington is a babe, beauty, and man of men.
What's your favourite sandwich?
Honestly, I don't have one. As long as it involves meat and cheese, I am down. Salami is always a good idea.
I hear what you're saying, some of my happiest memories come from meat in tube form.
(More wine is poured).
I hear you're Dominos #1 customer?*
Well, I do have an app and a direct line. I am a pizza girl through and through.
Speaking of pizza, what's your favourite sex position?
Oh dear, I really hope the aunties aren't reading this. Okay, well I would say what makes me feel the absolute best through and through, is when my legs would be behind my head. You have to be quite bendy for that, and everyone's different but there we go. Oh I went there didn't I!
That's fine, you're enlightening people! Making women feel comfortable talking about what they want! On that same note, do you think it is the size of a man's package, or how he uses it during sex that makes the difference?
It's the motion in the ocean! Although, I don't want to refer to anything as an ocean.
How has the reaction been to your fruit loop photoshoot?
Well, I keep getting texts from Scotland asking if I am alright. But that was such a fun night!
What would be your ideal date?
Something that I don't expect. Don't take me to fucking Pizza Hut. Dinner at a Winery is always nice. If he does something crazy that I don't expect, I love it. It's the same with going out, going with the flow is always better than having assumptions to how the night will end up going.
What's your favourite place to do the dirty?
I don't have a favourite place, I think it's more about the moment. There is something wonderful about unplanned moments; beauty in the unexpected.
Well put! Shall we go dancing?
Oh, we should always go dancing.
*We are looking for different late night pizza establishments that deliver if anyone has suggestions.
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