#WCW October 22nd

(The turkey, brie, cranberry, and gravy sandwich I made for my #wcw)

Listening:  New Ellie Goulding and Calvin Harris!  I went for a run this morning and oh boy, nothing like an up and coming top forty hit to get you moving, but also allow for you to question your life choices.

Eating:  Coffee and a breakfast panini.  I left my panini press in an exes storage locker, so I am using a waffle iron at the moment.  Ayo!

Looking:  Oh, there is a storm brewing, leaves are blowing everywhere, cyclists are looking a little frazzled.

Welcome back to Wednesday!  The favourite day of the week for some, for many others, not at all.  I would say most are probably indifferent.  I am very excited this week because last week, I was able to  put in to place a photo vision that I have had for quite some time:  A beautiful woman taking a bath in a tub full of cereal.  The stuff Seinfeld dreams about it.  

Lucky enough for me, I have just the friend willing to work with my hair brained ideas on very short notice.  She can only be described as intoxicating, and when we go out together, there's trouble.  Not real trouble, but we both have the mindsets of men when it gets down to it.  We get what we want, and have no apologies.  

It is a problem still these days, women are still given a structure by society, an expectation to act a certain way.  To be coy, but not too coy. Flirty, but not too flirty.  Bashful, but not too bashful.  Basically, we are expected to be all the Seven Dwarves all wrapped into one.  

The game of dog chasing cat still exists.  Cat chasing dog is deemed as inappropriate, desperate, and needy.  Well I am here to say with all capitals:  FUCK THAT.

Most of you reading this are probably somewhere in your mid twenties to thirties, you're in your golden years.  These are the days where your responsibilities are what your choose them to be.  If you want to change where you live or run a marathon, you can, your knees are still good enough for that.

If you want to join a circus, or catch a flight to Hong Kong at a moments notice, you go Glen Coco, I'll watch your cat.  Why be tied down to the constraints that other people place upon us?  We are a completely different generation than previous eras, why conform to the ideals of the past?

On that note, I watched Gone Girl last night and I am never getting married.

Also, come on Ben Affleck, we didn't see that coming?  Come on man, think with your brain.  

So let's get into it, woman crush Wednesday!  No Ben Affleck, not you.

S A R A H

I met Sarah more than a few years back at the point in my life where I had just gone through my first breakup.  I was an adult, I was single, and I was ready to dance.  We immediately hit it off with our love of white wine and all things beautiful.  She reminded me that being a strong and independent woman was actually the most attractive quality in a woman, as opposed to being able to pull off bangs, being able to ride a bicycle that didn't have brakes, or differentiating between coffee roasts.

She has one of the most wonderful Scottish accents out there, which is able to become Irish at the drop of a hat, and is actually able to strike up a conversation with anyone.  Besides that, she is an architect who is updating this East German looking community into something to be proud of, one building at a time.  No offence to East Germany, you're lovely in the right lighting.

Recently, and ironically enough, she has been by my side through my second major break up.  We have very similar stories right now when it comes to our non-traditional sense of what a relationship with someone else looks like.  We've grown to appreciate red wine, but our young white wine loving selves are still always down for a new adventure.  We are unforgiving when we go out, men do not control us, nor do we control them, but having wicked dance moves and a menacing glare doesn't hurt.

She has such a zest for life, would do anything for you, and more than anything has taught me there are no such things as regrets, because quite frankly, there isn't enough time in this life to have them.

(Disclaimer: this interview, as you may have already guessed, happens over a couple of bottles of wine.)

(If you haven't tried this wine, please do.  It's fantastic).

(Disclaimer #2: We opened with a rousing sing song of the Scottish National Anthem)

(Disclaimer #3: Our conversation occurred for hours, a lot of it can not be typed out here.  If you want to hear the real story, come buy us a glass of wine at Docs on Thursday, and maybe, MAYBE, we'll fill you in).

Okay!  Ready?  Why did you decide to become an Architect?

Is this real?  Shouldn't we be talking about sex?  Or sandwiches?  For Fuck sakes!

I am opening!  We're getting to know you a little bit about you!

Okay, well I didn't plan on going into it actually.  I wanted to be in Fashion design. But later on in life, when you get older, which is more likely that you are going to get a job in?  I tried to be sensible.  I also love the design aspect of it.

According to some firemen, you're the best dressed in Kelowna?

Yes.  According to some.  Mostly those that I take swimming in waterfalls after a night out.

Swimming in waterfalls?!  

Well, fountains.  You can always tell a lot about a man if he is willing to go swimming in a fountain with you.  

How would you describe your sexuality?

I am straight.  I am not saying I haven't kissed a female before, but yeah, straight.

More wine?

Yes.

How would you describe your relationship status?

Oh, single.  Definitely single.  Sarah is happy being single, let's put it that way.  Too much fun in life. You get the pick of a bundle.  You don't even need to have sex with them, it's just nice to have companionship sometimes you know?  Being doted on doesn't hurt either.  And men are easy to have conversations with.  Wham bam thank you ma'am!

I love it.  I love how you're the one doing the picking up.

Oh yes, men picking you up at the bar is too easy, and can come off as creepy quite quickly.  I mean if it's done right it can be quite flattering, but most men haven't figured it out.

What's your favourite movie?

American Gangster sticks out in my head.  Denzel Washington is a babe, beauty, and man of men.

What's your favourite sandwich?

Honestly, I don't have one.  As long as it involves meat and cheese, I am down.  Salami is always a good idea.

I hear what you're saying, some of my happiest memories come from meat in tube form.

(More wine is poured).

I hear you're Dominos #1 customer?*

Well, I do have an app and a direct line.  I am a pizza girl through and through.

Speaking of pizza, what's your favourite sex position?

Oh dear, I really hope the aunties aren't reading this.  Okay, well I would say what makes me feel the absolute best through and through, is when my legs would be behind my head.  You have to be quite bendy for that, and everyone's different but there we go.  Oh I went there didn't I!

That's fine, you're enlightening people!  Making women feel comfortable talking about what they want! On that same note, do you think it is the size of a man's package, or how he uses it during sex that makes the difference?

It's the motion in the ocean!  Although, I don't want to refer to anything as an ocean.

How has the reaction been to your fruit loop photoshoot?

Well, I keep getting texts from Scotland asking if I am alright.  But that was such a fun night!  

What would be your ideal date?

Something that I don't expect.  Don't take me to fucking Pizza Hut.  Dinner at a Winery is always nice.  If he does something crazy that I don't expect, I love it.  It's the same with going out, going with the flow is always better than having assumptions to how the night will end up going.

What's your favourite place to do the dirty?

I don't have a favourite place, I think it's more about the moment.  There is something wonderful about unplanned moments; beauty in the unexpected.

Well put!  Shall we go dancing?

Oh, we should always go dancing.


*We are looking for different late night pizza establishments that deliver if anyone has suggestions.

#WCW October 8th

Woman Crush Wednesday

(The sushi sandwich I made for my #wcw)

Listening:  The Porgy and Bess soundtrack sung by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald.  Perhaps,  PERHAPS my favourite record to play on vinyl.

Eating:  Salmon sashimi and coffee.  What I eat for breakfast is a gauntlet of a ride.

Looking:  Today I am looking at a stone wall.  Not metaphorically or anything, sometimes a stone wall is just that, a stone wall.

Oh, why hello there!  Happiest of hump days to you today!  Isn't it lovely?  Just the thought of being halfway to something, or for some, halfway away?  Everything on a blog is a rhetorical question, so I am just going to go ahead and answer "yes" for everyone.

This past week I have been busy with a) the flu b) my job and c) planning photo shoots for a bunch of babes!  It is work, but it's also just the most fun to hang out with the women I love, gussy them up, and then plop them in the middle of nowhere and take their picture.  Listen, I realize how Law and Order SVU that sounds, but you catch my drift.

(Best.)

I am hoping over the next couple of days to make a plan of how to keep up with the blog on a regular basis, finish the book, and maintain somewhat of a social life.  My publishing manager is at book fairs over the next couple of days promoting, while I am here having heart palpitations from her updates.  Maybe I should hire a ghost writer to finish this up.  Preferably the ghost of Paul Newman so we can all sigh and stare at him while he types on what I can only assume will be a type writer while wearing a very unassuming fedora. 

Well, there you go, you just got let into one of my fantasies.

Anyways let's move, on, the coffee is wearing off.

This week my good friend Steph was generous enough to accept the invitation to be my crush.  She and I have gotten up to quite a few shenanigans in our 20 something years on this earth, mostly involving cabs, falling, and laughing.  Not necessarily in that order. 

I asked her to be my woman crush this week as she is truly one of the most beautiful girls I know.  She is just as beautiful inside as she is on the out.  She is confident, not afraid to speak her mind, is able to lay it down at hip hop karaoke, and has dance moves to boot.

She will always be there for you with a bottle of wine and a tissue when you need it.  And if all else fails, she will approach your boy of the moment and tell him what an ass he is being at the music festival, or just in life.  She is one of the most loyal people I have ever met, and gives definition to what it means to have friends who are family.

She has taken Social Work and Development courses in school, and is about to embark on her latest adventure to the UK.  She, like many other women her age, has decided to take on an adventure and the unknown. 

S T E P H

Hi Steph!  What did you think of the photo shoot?  Did you feel like Snow White?

Yes.  I also felt like the evil witch.  But that really more describes my personality.

Isn't that the way though?  We all want someone who is mostly good but kind of an asshole?

Yeah, kind of.  Being a bit of an asshole makes you want more.  When guys are too nice, girls put them in the friend zone.

A study came out today that the friend zone is physically 1.5 feet away.  BBC news, breaking boundaries.

Physically?  Holy shit.

So you're going to go au-pairing this winter, that's exciting!

Yeah!  In the UK.  I am just trying to pick a family right now.  It's strange.

Let's get into it, how do you identify yourself sexually.

Like, straight?  Yeah, I would say straight.

How would you define your relationship status right now?

Single.  My phone number is 1-800-don't-call-me.

Do you prefer older or younger guys?  Do you have a type?

Not too old, I would say 5 years is the oldest I'll go.  I don't want to sound like a pervert, but I really don't mind younger guys because they are more willing to just have fun.

What's the strangest thing that has happened to you over the past month with a boy?

Well, a guy professed his love for me in the middle of a party.

How did you handle that?

I told him to be quiet.  He probably won't remember.  Keeping it under the rug.  Oh!  Also I told a guy I would go into his house with him, tricked him to get out of the car and drove off.  I just didn't feel like it, he wouldn't get out of my car, so a girl had to do what a girl had to do. 

(High fives are exchanged).

Do you have a crush at the moment?

Like a real person or a movie star?  Joseph Gordon Levitt for sure.  I don't think I have a crush personally right now.  There's no one who is tickling my fancy.

Oh man, how good is tickling though!?

Oh!  Who doesn't love a good tickle!

Do you crave to cook?  

If I am bored, or find something that I want to cook yes.  I cook too when I want to make someone feel special, I will cook a good meal.  I think people always love when you cook them a nice meal.

What's your favourite sandwich?

Something with goat cheese and avocado.  It has to have those two.  If it doesn't, it's useless.

Sandwich before or after sex?

Oh! After!

Why?

Because they usually has cheese, and cheese makes me bloaty and no one wants to see that.

Oh girl, I hear you.

Are you single?  No, I am dating dairy.

What's a turn off for you?

Running shoes anywhere but the gym!

What's a turn on?

Someone who isn't guarded, can laugh at themselves and is witty.  I don't mind shorter men because I am so short, so a shorter guy is like a tall guy to me.  I love dark hair and green eyes.  Oh. Baby.

You've been taking schooling for social work and development, when you get back do you think you'll continue with that? 

I think so yes.  There's something about working with people who maybe haven't had the best of time with the majority of society that is really rewarding.  I love listening to people's stories and understanding more about how they got to where they are.  I think too, a lot of people just kind of brush aside the homeless people, or drug users of a community, I think it's important to make them feel safe, and as members of a society.  Drug addicts don't just happen, it's important that everyone have someone to listen to them.  

You worked for a safe injection site on the coast, how was that? 

Yeah it was interesting.  We handed out clean needles, condoms, and information.  It was really eye opening to get to know people not just from what you learn in class.  Just the idea that maybe you have helped someone physically or emotionally was really good.  

Do you think there is a double standard for how men and women are perceived when discussing sex? 

Absolutely!  If a guy tells his friends that he's hooked up with two different girls in a week he is rewarded.  If a girl tells the same to her friends, she is immediately judged and her morals are questioned.  I mean it depends on the friends, but it's just how guys and girls have been raised differently.  Girls are taught to keep things behind doors, where guys are taught to put it all out there.  It's funny because that's basically the difference physically as well.  

Oh, anatomy, what a thing. 

I am jumping all over the place with these questions, but what would your ideal date be? 

I would say someone cooking dinner for you at their house and then a movie.  There's something casual but still intimate about having someone make you dinner in their home. 

Favourite spot to eat in Kelowna?

Raudz or The Fixx!  The salmon at Raudz is amazing, and the California pasta at The Fixx, well, you know. 

Oh, it's out of this world.  Last question, favourite place to do the dirty? 

Philidelphia.  

You're the best. 

Thanks phat boi. 

#WCW October 1st

Woman Crush Wednesday 

Listening:  Chet Faker.  This man, his voice, his beard.  Enough said.

Eating:  Coffee!  Coffee!  Coffee! And surprisingly tortellini.  Nothing like breakfast pasta.

Looking:  I am cozied up in the backyard watching New Zealander's pick some wine grapes.  It's some pretty, pretty, pretty alright looking this morning.

Well here we are, October first.  And thank goodness, I was really starting to worry summer was going to last forever, and who wants that?  I find the most creative seasons to be fall and winter, perhaps it's because of the natural instinct that you could freeze to death so you might as well get all of your good ideas out of the way before that happens.   Maybe a nicer way of looking at it is with decomposition comes growth.  No, that's not much nicer at all.  Okay, let's try one last time.  Fall is beautiful because of the warm light, crisp air, and the sound your bike tires make moving over the crunchy leaves.

Descriptive writing before my fifth cup of coffee, not my strong point.  Noted.

Anyways, let's move on because god only knows what I am going to say to describe winter.  I have been away from this screen of late due to some personal priorities and some heavy cookbook development.  All exciting stuff!  Except now I actually have to finish the damn thing.  If you don't hear from me, I am probably surviving off of poutine and vegetable smoothies at my desk.  

A couple of weeks ago I created an Instagram account for Sex&Sandwiches (@sexetsandwiches) so I've been working on that a bit each day, well trying to.  Computers are not my strong suit, my strong suit is a black and white pantsuit that I only bring out for job interviews and professional funerals.  Don't ask what a professional funeral is, you'll find out one day, naturally.

So, for the Instagram account (@sexetsandwiches), I've decided each Wednesday to have a #WCW.  For those of you who have a life, read real books, and don't know what a #WCW is, let me educate you.  It is a woman, who you have a crush on, to whom you proclaim your love and admiration to on a Wednesday.

Every Wednesday, I will be featuring an interview and photo series with a real life, that's right  REAL LIFE, woman who I admire.  There will be a photo series and an interview getting to know them, what they do, how they feel about sex, sandwiches, and sometimes footwear.  

Please note, this is not just for the "sex sells" aspect, although if it weren't for the "sex sells" aspect I would probably be out of a job.  What I am trying to do here is empower the everyday woman.  We are constantly bombarded with images through the media of "real women" doing "real women" things.  Well fuck off media, stop lying to me, I know your game!  I want women to feel like they can be their own brand of "sexy."  That they can, as I have said before, dance it like they feel it.

So this is where we're going to mess around, glam up some babes, talk to them about what they care about, and share with you how our generation is not a lost cause.

So let's do this thang!

M E G A N

I met Megan in our last year of undergrad at university.  She had the best naturally windblown hair I had ever seen, spoke incredibly eloquent in lectures, and could drink whiskey with the best of them.  

We became friends one day after class while I was having a "moment" where I started to question the entirety of my scholarly choices.  She approached me like any person would approach a girl with massive hair wearing a sweater with a sailboat on it crying, very carefully.  She asked if I was okay, and I told her I was, but the world we lived in wasn't (re: Eurocentrism).  I was super dramatic that day, I would like to think it was because I had recently driven a side view mirror off of a car with my massive SUV, but who are we kidding, I had just had enough.

She was incredibly easy to talk to, and had the kindest words that made me laugh for days.  That was it.  Team friendship.

More recently when I had to leave my job due to family illness  I had to find a replacement.     Instantly her name popped into my head.  She had the best interview of her life, and got the position.  She is one of two people who truly understands what it is like to work in both Denmark and Poland at the same time.

I chose Megan as my first woman crush Wednesday because not only is she one of the strongest and most intelligent women I know, she also lets this beauty shine through her with her contagious laughter, perfected German accent, and amazing strut.  If you haven't seen this girl strut, please, watch for her on the streets of Vancouver.

Hi Megan!  I’ll start off by saying thank you for being my first #wcw and for being such a good sport! 

Thanks!  I am excited about your project!

So how was your day?  Anything exciting happen?

My day was actually good.  Nothing too f***n exciting, went to a strata meeting.

Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself

You are such a dork! 

Like describe what you do! 

What my job is?  Awe fuck, I don’t fucking know my job.  Little bit of art, little bit of real estate, little bit of lip synching.  

Okay, let’s get into it, how do you identify yourself sexually?

Oh wow!  That is loaded!  You just come at it!  Psssssst queer.. Queer because it’s non committal and sounds enigmatic and cute.

 How would you define your relationship status?

Ayo!

Do you think our age group puts too much definition on their relationship status?

I think there are always going to be people who put too much emphasis on relationship status and those who don’t, but I do think people need to be honest with themselves about what they need and want from their relationships, and I think our generation is looking that way.

What’s the strangest thing that’s happened to you in the past month relationship or sexually?

Honestly, nothing’s happened.  Such a boring answer though.

But we’ve talked about the calm before the storm, maybe something will go down?

Oh, yeah!  I think I am more due for a blunder than anything.  I’ve been such a well behaved person in these recent weeks.  I am just waiting for you know, ghosts of douchebags past to cme and swing into the neighbourhood.

 Do you have a crush at the moment?

I have a crush on ankle boots right now.

Like suede? Or leather?

Anything.  Chelsea.  All of it Doc Martens.  Fuck it.

Like girls who wear the boots or just the boots?

All of it.

Who is the first gal that pops to your mind when you think #wcw?

Nicki Minaj!

Do you cook?

When I want to impress someone or feel beautiful, I cook.  I can plate like a boss.  But sometimes when I just feel shitty and need a pick-me-up, I cook.  It makes me feel rich and luxurious.  It's therapeutic. 

What is your favorite sandwich?

Ohhhhhhh!  Fuck!  Why did I not anticipate that!?  Like in a classic sense?

Ya classic’s always good!

TURKEY BACON CLUB!  YES COMITTED.  That was like picking a favourite child.

Sandwich before or after the sex?

After, because then there is no pressure.  The rest of the time is you and the sandwich and that’s nice.

What is the one thing that someone can do or say to completely turn you on?

Hi my name is Taylor Swift.  Also, being intelligent.   I like women who are viciously intelligent, oooo that sounds sexy!

It does!

Sometimes it backfires, they can zing ya a bit.  But it’s hot.

Do you text back right away?

Yeah, usually.

So you’re just an incredibly witty person on command?

IF you think my texts are witty, then yes, I would say so.

Do you brush your teeth before morning sex?

Yes!  Cannot be confident until that has happened.  It’s something you need to be confident in if you’re going to get towards the business.

One time I took a halls vitamin c instead of brushing my teeth thinking it would have the same effect.  Yeah, I don’t know.

That didn’t have an answer at all.

Ayo!

Why do you think women and men can’t talk about sex in the same way?  Do you think it is damaging at all?

Men are trained to perform, women are trained to receive.  Is that damaging?  Ultimately yes.  I think sometimes it can be used in ways people can enjoy, but I think that there are more interesting things to be said when there is more power equality. 

Like when you can be yourself more?

Yeah, not having to be in a certain zone all the time.  Having variation.

Describe your perfect date in Vancouver?

Ohhhhh!  On top of one of the mountains in North Van, looking at the lionsgate bridge and the sea at twilight, with some decent sweaters and a bottle of whiskey.

Favourite place to eat in Vancouver? 

Overall, I would say Burgoo.

What would you get there?

After School special.

Favourite place to do the dirty?

Oh my god.  I am not going to answer that.  People can find out for themselves if they’re interested.  Coy ass cheecky bastard answer.