Listening: Sam Smith (I mean, come on)
Eating: Hot Chocolate with marshmallows
Looking: Twinkling lights across the lake
First, 900 views! YOU GUYS! Way to make a girl and her sandwiches feel like the King of the world! Again, thank you. Here is a picture of a duck marching band to celebrate:
Well, something big happened this week. Something that made my whole world stop. I've only had one thing on my mind, and I am finding it hard to function until I know for sure that it's mine. People have asked why I am acting so strange, they know something is going on.
It's Netflix.
Orange is the New Black is back. And I am getting a lot of good alias / pseudonym ideas for the characters and anecdotes in my book.
(Yes.)
I am trying not to pull a House of Cards this round, as in, I am actually going to try and stretch out the series. I think it will be easier since Kevin Spacey isn't in it, I have a weird attraction to Kevin Spacey. My mother thinks it's unhealthy because of how well he played his role in Seven, and I am like "Mom, at least he had a hobby right?" Then she looks at me and tells me to eat something.
Besides drooling at a t.v screen this week, I've been giving some thought towards my post last week. And I think it's only fair, because of feminism, to write about lady bj's too! Let's break the stigma down guys, no double standards in 2K14, woo!
(Donut sandwich coming at you next week).
I spoke with one of my most articulate and gorgeous friends this week, a woman who describes herself as someone who "predominantly bangs chicks," and she had some great insight into why we as a society view doing things to men, and doing things to women differently.
"In a heteronormative sense, it comes down to how men and women are socialized. Men are socialized to sexually preform, where women are socialized to accept and receive sex." And it's true. As much as you're grimacing and saying that the glass ceiling came down years ago; false. We as women need to stop pussy footing (I was looking where to use that pun,) around what we think men want to hear, and what we need them to hear. We need to communicate in a way that is not diminutive, rather, we need to express ourselves in a deliberate manner. Change starts with yourself.
(This coming from the girl who knitted through Women's Studies classes, but I am okay with that, I got the gist, found a balance, and made it my own).
Now, let's get in to the fun.
To start, click to enjoy the following:
Now, here's the thing. They're quite on point. Let's break it down.
1. "Chill on the clitoris." Truth. Women parts aren't like men's parts, we are, as the hit Avril Lavigne song puts it "Complicated." (I really don't love Avril's music, but I like to throw her in the pile every once in a while to keep her and her eyeliner alive). Mix it up, don't just think one thing will do.
2. "Every bi*ch like her cunnilingus a little bit different. Vaginas are like snowflakes, every snowflake is different, learn your b*ches snowflake." Don't assume that all girls like the same thing! Ask her what she wants, and keep asking. Don't be scared that you'll seem lesser, you'll be seen as the opposite. You'll be seen as a caring and thoughtful individual. Real hallmark shit.
3. "Vaginas deserve respect." DUH. This is usually as awkward the first time for us as it is for you, if not more so. We're allowing you to get ALL up and personal with us, so don't be a weirdo, don't be crude, and communicate!
4. "Penis' is easy, and vaginas is hard." Yep. The amount of women I've talked to who have not been able to come via oral sex is numerous, most women are easiest to climax via a lil' hand job. It yet again, all comes down to trust. Connect with your lady, get to know her a little, and things will go much more smoothly.
5. Finally, for the ladies, keep good hygiene. Like, really, do. There's a lot of stuff going on down there, and it's only fair to yourself and your partner to keep it nice and clean. Wear cotton most of the time, wash daily. And use protection! That's one thing the skit doesn't mention. Well, maybe their outfit choices are their modes of contraception. Although, for us Kevin Spacey lovers out there, it probably wouldn't help much.
There you go. Some real cunty talk. SANDWICH TIME. (How's that for a good transition?)
This week I tried out a chicken hoagie I've been working on. I made one a couple of weeks ago that was quite traditional, so this week, I went a bit more Italian, because Italians KNOW what to do with bread, meat, and sauce. They are the Usain Bolt of bread, meat, and sauce.
I made a foccacia loaf combining Ina Garten's recipe for pizza dough, and The Joy of Cooking's foccacia recipe. It turned out quite well, but I hesitated on the oil at the end, which I won't do again. The more olive oil, the better.
I made some oven fried buttermilk chicken strips, which I do by melting butter in a high temperature oven, taking out the hot pan, and adding the breaded breasts to it. Turning them halfway, it fries them very well, without the nasty smell or cleanup.
Overall, very tasty. Especially with a nice sriacha mayo and a zesty guacamole.
I am going to keep working on this one for the book, as it was a request, but it's getting there.
And to end, I finally sorted out which anecdotes / people to go with which sandwiches. As strange as it sounds, this has been the hardest part. Choosing a theme for each story, then picking a recipe to go with it is ALMOST as difficult as bioengineering, and don't argue.
Well, I've got a hot date with a bath and some good ol' computer television.
That does not stand for electrocution; just happiness.
Have great weeks, and don't forget; ask your snowflake what she or he likes.
xx
-B
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